Anxiety is something most of us have felt, but have you ever noticed how confusing it can be? Unlike fear, which has a clear target (a spider, a looming deadline, a test), anxiety is vague, free-floating, and hard to pin down. Jacques Lacan, a renown psychoanalyst, explained that anxiety often isn’t about a specific danger at all. Instead, it arises from uncertainty about ourselves in relation to others: how we’re seen, what’s expected of us, and what others might want from us.

Lacan illustrates this with a striking story: imagine standing in front of a female praying mantis while wearing a mantis mask. The fear doesn’t come from the mantis itself—it comes from not knowing how the mantis sees you, or what it might want, or when our identity is shaken or called into question. Anxiety arises when we can’t tell what we represent to someone else. That uncertainty — the not knowing — creates a tension that can feel overwhelming.

Anxiety is different from fear in a particular way. Fear is concrete; you can point to it, identify it, and respond. Anxiety is a little more abstract. Lacan captures this with his sentiment that anxiety emerges when “lack itself lacks.” In other words, it’s not just that something is missing; it’s that we don’t even know exactly what is missing. This ambiguity in itself produces unease, tension, and a restless sense of dread.

Part of what makes anxiety so human is its connection to what Lacan calls the Other — the symbolic world that surrounds us. The Other isn’t just another person. It can include society, culture, social ties and bonds, language, values, and rules. It’s the lens through which we feel seen, named, judged, or desired. Our sense of identity is relational in how we often define ourselves through how we believe the Other sees us. Anxiety spikes when we don’t know our place in the Other’s desire—when it’s unclear how we’re valued, understood, or expected to behave. Our identity can be understood similarly to a map drawn with landmarks from the people and places around us. If you have ever moved to a new university or city and the landmarks vanish, suddenly, we’re navigating unfamiliar terrain and uncertain of where we belong. Imagine being on a stage under a spotlight held by the Other. Your sense of who you are depends on being visible in that light. When the spotlight wavers, shifts, or goes out, you’re left unsure of your place — and anxiety takes over.

From childhood, we try to solve this puzzle by adapting ourselves: Am I loved for being helpful? Smart? Funny? Quiet? The versions of ourselves we create to meet others’ expectations are protective, but they also make anxiety inevitable when the rules shift or when our assumptions about recognition fail. Anxiety is not a flaw; it’s a signal. It alerts us to threats not just to physical safety, but to our identity, boundaries, and place in relationships.

Sometimes, anxiety shows up in ways that seem problematic: perfectionism, over-organization, rituals, or compulsions. These behaviours are not failures; they are protective strategies, ways of creating stability and predictability in the face of uncertainty. Perfectionism can give a temporary sense of safety, rituals can give form to vague fears, and over-functioning can provide a sense of identity and purpose when our place feels unclear. In Lacan’s view, these are creative, adaptive responses to the unknowable demands of the Other.

Anxiety also emerges when our mental image of ourselves (the Imaginary register, as Lacan calls it) collapses or becomes unstable. Returning to the mantis story, a person’s sense of self wobbles because the reflection they rely on — the Other’s gaze — is unclear. This is similar to imposter syndrome; the self no longer knows how it appears to others, and anxiety fills the gap.

Understanding anxiety in this way changes how we approach it. It’s not about eliminating anxiety entirely but about recognizing what it protects and gently learning to tolerate uncertainty. Anxiety can be uncomfortable and confusing, but it’s deeply human; it signals when a part of our identity feels shaky, unanchored, or unsure of its place. And yet, even when we stand face to face with the mantis, our mask shaken, there is hope. In that moment lies the possibility to explore and rediscover who we are, beyond the expectations and judgments of others.

Sources:

Hewitson, O. (2019, June 20). What is anxiety? Video introduction to Lacan’s theory. LacanOnline.com. https://www.lacanonline.com/2019/06/what-is-anxiety-video-introduction-to-lacans-theory/

Lacan, J. (2014). Anxiety: The seminar of Jacques Lacan, Book X (1962–1963) (J.-A. Miller, Ed.; A. R. Price, Trans.). Polity Press.

Daniella Maatouk, MA, RP (Qualifying)